Being Present
Child Psychologist, Dr. Gordon Neufeld, identified 7 attributes of true play. Play is:
Engaging,
Safe,
Freedom,
Expressive,
Not for real,
Not work,
Best with a clear beginning and clear ending.
When a child is free to engage fully in true play, they are able to embody the fullness of every moment. Two attributes I’d like to highlight are that play is freedom and it is not work.
When we say that true play is freedom, we mean that it frees a child’s attention to be interest-led (i.e. curiosity) which in turn optimizes learning. It also frees up their problem-solving capacities which in turn optimizes creativity. The bulk of our children’s learning during Early Childhood is accomplished through imitation and modeling. They see others do something and they want to do it too. In play, they are able to put all these skills and lessons into practice. Because it is safe and ‘not for real’, they don’t have to be afraid of getting it wrong while they try it out. In this way, they increase their skills and capacities. Through creative problem-solving they are free to do it their way. They can then discover for themselves how things can be done or when they need to be reconfigured.
When we remember that play is NOT work, we are remembering that it is not dependent on an outcome. In this way true play, like presence, is something we don’t have much space for in western society anymore. We’ve become driven towards results, outcomes and accomplishments. If we can’t quantify something then it’s not worth doing. Play has been turned into an outcome and an accomplishment- from organized activities for our youngest children to the games they consume on the various screens in their lives. If they aren’t absorbing information, skills, rules, or behavior modifications, then it’s seen as a waste of time. Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost the definition of true play.
Allowing our children ample free-play time, time that is all their own; undisrupted, uncontrolled, and unconditional, gives them the gift of the present moment and allows them to experience the benefits of presence. When we are present, wholly embodied in this moment, we experience rest, stress-relief, and joy.